Purpose Statement

I started this blog not because I think my life is particularly interesting or worth reading about but because I need an outlet to express my thoughts about the world that I'm trying to muddle through. I can't promise any deep insights, but I'm going to try to gain a better understanding of the relationships I have, the thoughts and feelings I have, and well, the world in general. I guess that's a pretty all-encompassing purpose, but until I really get going with this, I don't really know what it will be about. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, I figured a good way to kickstart this would be to explain the title and URL I chose for this blog. One of my favorite books is Paper Towns by John Green. The ending of the book is beautifully written and provided me with a perfect metaphor for human relationships. To quote from the book, "Each of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And these things happen - these people leave us, or don't love us, or don't get us, or we don't get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel starts to crack open in places [...] But there is all this time between when the cracks start to open up and when we finally fall apart. And it's only in that time that we can see one another, because we see out of ourselves through our cracks and into others through theirs [...] The light can get in. The light can get out."

This metaphor is just so beautiful to me. The idea that the things that wear us down and break us apart can also open us up to other people is mind-blowing.

Recently, I've realized that I deliberately keep my vessel sealed up. I don't let any of my light out into the world because I'm afraid of what people will think. And so here, on this blog, partially because I don't really think anyone will read it, but also because I want to challenge myself, I'm going to be completely honest. Not just with the world, but with myself. At least, I'm going to try. I think trying is the best that any of us can do.

I hope to become more self-aware and honest through this process and also to come to a greater understanding of the world that I live in. I'll be commenting on events that transpire in my life as well as internal events, which I think are equally as important. But if you want me to think about anything or write on anything, please leave me a comment. I'll try to address it in a post.

Thanks to everyone who inspired me (mostly indirectly) to start this. Mr. Sal, Julia Albain, Amy K-R, Olivia, John Green, and many others. Let's see how this goes.

- Bex